I like the noon meeting where I go theres alot of sobriety there and alot of newcomers, todays topic was on FEAR, most everyone has fear , fear of something were not going to get ,fear of something were going to lose.today my fear is sobriety whats it going to take for me to drink again , I've failed every time before why is this time any different, that was the question I asked. WOW did I ever get feed back on that; from this program works if you work it ,work the steps, but there was a man who told a story about himself, he drank almost like I did, morning till night ,wake up shaking needing another drink just to function . then one day it happen when when he woke up and was having his morning drink words came out of his mouth ( I CAN'T DO THIS ANY MORE ) and he swears he didn't say that ,He said that a feeling came over him to get help and every thing was going to be all right . He went to the phone book and called A.A. they told him where some meetings that was in his area and what time they were . He tryed not to drink much that day so he could make the meeting that night, he picked up a white chip and has been sober ever since. If we face our fears ,we become free .thank you.

thank you for your comments.

(ADMITTED TO GOD, TO OURSELVES AND TO ANOTHER HUMAN BEING THE EXACT NATURE OF OUR WRONGS )
Well this is the step that everyone has fear of ,1st the resentments, its the ones you have now , and the ones you have been carrying with you all your life, I had one with my dad , my whole life he never went to a baseball game that I played in at little league ,never played with me as a child . my ex-wife for leaving me, all of my girl freinds , if you were to put ten girls along a wall I would pick the sickest one every time, lol. And there were alot more ,Well when we went over them I found out I played a part in all of them or there was a reason it happen that I could live with ,the one about my father, he worked 10 hours a day an traveled 2 hours a day to support 3 kids and a wife and he even helped his parents out ,I forgot that I had everything I needed and most all the things I wanted. and almost all of my resentments turned out that way.
next we went over the people I had harmed and I found out that if I wasn't drinking alot of them would have never happen , for the first time I srarted to get angery at the alcohol and not defending it I found myself doing that alot but not anymore ,it wasn't me doing all those bad things it was the alcohol.
We did my fears next I didn't think I had that many, ut wiyh the help of AL its amazing how many I had ,fear of the phone and mail box when I couldn't pay my bills. I had a fear of reading in front of people AND I MISSED ALOT OF GOOD MEETINGS BECAUSE I THOUGHT THEY MIGHT CALL ON ME TO READ.
When it came to my sex life AL told me to go over my life and look when I was selfish and other things ,I found out I never had a good relationship never had a partner it was always about me, what I could get out of it . It tells me in the big book if I don't change I might drink again.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR COMMENTS .

I want to ask the people who have been following this , would you like to hear about the meetings , (keeping everyone's Anonymity) the groups , the people .I'm not talking about speaker meetings or closed meetings just open meetings

thank you for your comments .

( MADE A SEARCHING AND FEARLESS MORAL INVENTORY OF OURSELVES)
Everyone who shares on this at the meetings make it sound like its the hardest thing they ever did, then there was a guy who shared at a meeting , he had a big resentment at his aunt, this is the way he seen it before his 4th an 5th step. his aunt was always trying to get his mom to move in with her ,his mom was on social security and his way of thinking was she was trying to get her check so her life would be easyer, so one day he came home and found a letter that she had moved in with his aunt , he was pissed really mad ,that check chasing bitch had finally got her way . Now he was stuck with a 2 bedroom apartment all the bills and he knew he couldn't do it all by himself so he went on a drunk , he lost the apartment and everything including his job and became homeless, blaming everything on his aunt. thats what he wrote on his fourth step.
Now after talking with his sponor the truth came out his aunt is his mothers sister who loved her all her life . He was an alcoholic never paid any of the bills the work he did do he spent the money on booze, his mother was sick for a long time thats why his aunt wanted his mother to move in with her. when I heard that I started to think did i have any of those resentments and how many ,I really thank that man for letting me see the light not just for the 4th step but for me wanting this program .I went to AL and told him I was ready for my forth step , he told me to and get a note book and then he turned to a page in the big book it was all there the name of the person , the resentment , and how it affected me , he told me to leave that blank , how it affected me, and we will both go over that . AL explained to me how he takes people threw this step first the resentments then the people i've harmed, then we go over the fears ,the big book says our lives were driven by a 100 forms of fears, and the last thing we go over is our sex life .Al told me we would do it in four parts the resentment first and so on .

thank you very much for your comments

(MADE A DECISION TO TURN OUR WILL AND OUR LIVES OVER TO THE CARE OF GOD AS WE UNDERSTAND HIM )
WOW this was really hard why would I turn my life over to the care of someone who was punishing me? I talked to AL and he is really good he doesn't tell me what I have to do he just tells me what he did and what he believes.getting a higher power is one thing , having a relationship and understanding with your higher power is another thing . I explained to him how I felt, that I asked GOD for help and he did , then I didn't keep my end of the bargain , If I couldn't forgive myself how could I ask him to forgive me, well that started about an hour conversation with AL , He explained about unconditional love ,forgiving and he made 1 good point that all I had to do was make a decision.

thank you very much for your comments.